my early gift from Santa

Most of the times things happen unexpectedly when u expect less... n this week was just so sweet to me i couldnt even find the right words to describe! though M was feeling well these 2 days but today we manage to meet up at his place. It was quite a travel n i was really tired but yet i still made it to his house to spend a little time with him before he leave to Paris for Christmas <3

The more i spend time with him, the more i adore him n his kisses. Every "hello" kiss was just as sweet as ever, The hot chocolate he prepared for me today taste sweeter too! being held n holding him in my arms while watching The Town was *the moment*! just sitting on his comfy sofa! simoly as it may be, it was just the perfect relationship that i've longed for. n i was absolutely over the moon when i heard him say " je suis avec ma copine maintenant" ! woohooo!!!

Not only Santa made my wish come true, but he also gave me a strong, smart,tall,handsome n gentle man to be with! n half asian!! n the perfect relationship that's not only my dream relationship, it also manage to bring out the best in me that i feel so happy n a darling that helps me in my studies as well... whom my mom adores on the other hand. too bad myhands were to busy surrounding him that i cudnt take any picture tho... but still memories r alwys better =)

hopefully everythg will just continue smoothly

Just an old photo of us.

Liz

Im too tired to sleep now

been working non stop recently for a month now. Eventually the school has become more of my house now. i spend most of my time stucked there n the only time i spend at home is during bedtimes. Life in the first year can be describe as horribly busy that i can barely have a life or a pause button. Sometimes i just feel like collapsing right away or fall into a deep sleep. Go to bed at 4am and wake up at 7am everyday is the worst feeling ever n i can barely feel anythg at all... Im just looking forward to the holidays soon. 1 paper burning in Hell, 3 more to go still...

Yes Im Cold Hearted!

hate d word watever, dislike d way u make me feel disrespected at times n yet shit alwys happen! being far is alrdy a fucked up situation n now shit adds in.arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sigh* God u shud hv made me a  creature with no heart n of metal. 

first time

lan li.. recently been staying back at school from 8am till 7pm.. including weekends! si pek kut lat.. looking back from who i was last time n who i am right now is such a drastic change! feel sorta porud with myself now =P

it's all about love

Today didnt reli start off well due to stomachache, eventually i have to be absent for my math test today. So as i was sitting on the sofa with my lappy on my sofa, i've read about a young boy back in KL commited suicide recently for his beloved girlfriend. He said that he loved her so much even till the moment of his death, left a note n then jump of a 10++ floor building when it strucked midnight. Being only 4 months with a girl who treats him cold really beats all the efforts and loves that his family have had for him in all their lives. The boy is so bewitched by his stupidity that he actually forgot to just stop for a moment and give things a rational thought. Life was never suppose to be easy nor a fairy tale.Relationship wasnt never meant to go smoothly like the cream of the crops. Pain was meant to be bare and faced.. Sadly that's life. but to die coz of a break up? Seriously not cool! n a utterly rubbish way to die. So many people are begging and desperately struggling hard just to survive a day through while this dumb ass waste not only the efforts of his family, his future, n also a precious life that those childrens n people out there would kill to have. Rather to know such physco  in the future, i'd rather be singled out really. I may sound cold blooded mb that's bcoz i dont have what people would usually call a real life relationship.. I dont know how it really feels like to have an open rship  where u could do whatever u want nor what to hope n expect in my relationship. But i do know one thing family comes first, count your breathe as a blessing and never put ur all in a relationship (especially when u dont see any future in it) .

Yet still, may u rest in peace,mate!


liz

tiring but awesome

Finally it's weekend! OMG, finally we're able to breathe some non stress air for 2 weeks! It was a huge relief after finishing our chemistry Test tho im not very sure what the hell was i doing but at least i finish everything n i do hope i couldd surf through with sufficient marks really. Today was a flat battery day for me coz i havent been having enough sleep but on the other hand it was a fun day, classmates n i had loads of laugh and fun during chemistry laboratory. Getting to know each n everyone even more really makes me happy in a way. It finally feels like im in the social zone now. Somehow makes me feel that im not that alien anymore n feeling a tiny bit less lonely C= i hope everyday will be just as pleasant as today!

我的幸福?

有时候我在想到底是我想太多?我要求是不是太多?我只不过想要个简单的恋爱而已但


每一次当我找到了好的对象时，一切的简单仿佛觉得超遥远的。所谓生活还真的是

满艰难。我真的好害怕，我一时的需要会让我再次的对别人动心。我该怎么做才可

拥有我的幸福?

sometimes i dont understand why

sometimes when friend ask me how did u both hanging there. i always answer " we're good as usual". But at times i dont know if i really mean i really mean it or im actually pretending to be strong n tough when the fact is i really really need to have someone right beside me ? looking at friends n their partners together able to do simple thgs like going to dinner together, studying together, hv a walk in a garden together , hving someone to say "everythg's ok, C! im juz right here"when im tired n down n able to kiss gd morning or gdbye. A touch may not mean anything in a relationship but a touch is an essential to keep a relationship sparkle. I just pray to God to melt down all this boundaries soon coz i dunno how much longer i can hang in there until my needs eventually eats up the love i have for u.

i love u

as many times i blink, i'll miss u....

Lizzie

2 years

Before getting back with u n feeling special again, im so used to loneliness deep down i could even feel the coldness in me.Being alone, solitude wasn't a problem at all to me not until u brought me back to life n hope.I know sometimes i might be selfish n bossy at times. wanting u to do this n that so that i could have u by my side again.You brought hope back to me, making me hoping that u'll come to me n be with me, plz dont take away the only hope that i hv now. i know we cant tell bout the future n things r not as simple as it seems but they r not impossible if only u put effort to it.Bcoz of u, i cant bare to be alone now, i cant bare to lose hope now n i cant bare thinking bout not having u here with me. when u asked me "what if i couldnt make it?" , that very moment my heart sore so badly dat it cracks but i still smile bcoz i still hope. maybe im just over-reacting, maybe im just impatient....but all i want is to be with u just like any couple could be. sometimes i ask myself" y r we the ones who hv to be so far apart n hv to wait for miracles to drop down from the sky just to meet each other again. If after 2 years, n yet things just doesnt happen..... then God knows what'll happen...

lizzie anne

It will blossom at the right time

Right now everything just felt so right. I in university working my ass off, sharing a part of my quiet life with nature n having U in my world. Everything look so beautiful n wonderful to me right now. Emptiness being filled n loneliness being supress but of coz misses keeps adding in =) but it's ok, i wouldnt mind a single bit about it coz i know im not the only one. All we could do now is do well in everything we're doing right now, achieve well and work hard. Then when the right opportunity and time arrive, that's when our relationship will finally blossom and bear it's fruit.

much love,

Lizzie

You'll do fine!! I know u can

I bet u're working your butt off at this moment preparing for examinations. I just wanna remind u that u shouldn't doubt yourself coz u can do so much better than that if u put your effort n give it your best. Whenever you're doubting yourself, why dont u just take a second,close your eyes n remember what i told u,that i believe in you n i know u can make it through. You'll always have my love, trust n faith! All it takes now is to add in a lil sacrifice, double hardwork n a pump of confidence =)

Good luck,love!

liz

live,love n life

The trip back to msia was not only lovely but also the very most appreciated holidays i have ever had! certain friends from all over the world came back n we could actually hv the chance to meet up. seeing everyone changed,grown up n different now is really outstanding. i hope for the best to everyone out thr including friends that i couldnt make it to meet up with..well they always say THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT TIME!

As for the lovey dovey issue, i really am grateful for being able to redeem my second chance from u again sweetie! i should hv known better n waited a little longer but the past dont matter now. i wont let myself get too overwhelm with desperation again that could really cost me my faith n patience.ish! i juz wanna thk u for willing to risk it all again to be with me =) it means more than any words could possibly describe. being held in ur arms so tightly, lyin on ur chest,looking thru those gentle eyes, holding me in public without fear anymore n all the little actions n things we've shared really showned how much u've changed n grown by time.

Well as for me, i'll hv to learn to hv more faith n like i told u before i walked away,i'll be waiting for u.

Thank u for sharing ur life with me again n create a stronger bond nevertheless a more intimate r'ship *smile*



with love,
Liz

Last One

Finally i've finish working on my lamp! FINALLY!!! NO MORE MODIFYING!!!!!! Thk God for that..

Anyway here's a lil update with the last n final creation of the damn lamp!

P/S: the whole class will be heading to the gallery in NE on wednesday n i really hope all lamps we made will do well during the exposition =) *fingers crossed*!

taste and delight

As time is flowing through, u slowly got my attentions. I felt guilty for not noticing u at all even after we know each other!hahahaha...im such a jerk =P
But anyway, your gentleness,sweetness n your efforts are incredibly lovely yet not freaking me out. I can tell u that it's a great privilege. I notice that you are just like a piece of a delicious chocolate cake, the more i have a taste of it, the more it brings delight to me. Thk U

Countdown baby! n may all hell break loose!

Almost finish ACPD soon.
Nothing to do recently.
Just waiting for another 17 days to go n my butt'll be back!

XOXO

Just hitting some flash back buttons..

每个人的人生路不会再跟以前一样简单或单纯。朋友，周围，习惯等会依着时间慢慢
的改变。但各人依然有各自的甜蜜回忆。
 
So everytime when we 回想童年, nostalgia would manage to carve an innocent smile on our faces once again. Every minute n moments of it are so utterly amazing n sometimes i find it quite unbelievable to see how things have been so drastically different in the past years.

说实在，看完这些照片反而让我更想家。人生的道路的确是非常不好走，可是每个人还是必须盼望更好的明天，不停的往前走。So basically, right below is a lil here n thr about me from time to time....

Forgotten how old was i in this pic alrdy

 

 lil red indian =)

HAHAHAH!

now i know why i dont like to wear red now!

aw...me n my lil god sista during CNY =)

ah-ha! now i cant even rmb how to play twinkle-twinkle lil star.

The above are practically the angelic, innocent part of me as a girl...

now here comes the devillish,playful part of me unleashed afterwards...

*drum sounds*

face being sabotaged

After revising too much of Biology...

Who can have a better husband than mine?seriously good in massage =P

Big day for all of us to throw n burn our books!!

During Charis's n Daniel's wedding

 

(After im stucked in swiss)

Zi Han, Mireille,Wendra, Nho, Lizzie

The asian babes that i adore =)

N...the lastest big baby...

So there u go... a tiny bit of flash back of how a cute lil girl have grown up to be a crazy bitch!

That's all folks!

XOXOXO

你的"有一天"，希望我等得到

以前的我对感情的观念都是拿得起，放得下。感情淡了就很潇洒的说拜拜，不会回头再看，日子就这样过。根本不会有矛盾的感觉或思想。我这好玩的心灵一路来都不曾认真的对待感情是非，直到你的出现，把我一切的潇洒和坚强完全都毁掉了。当你在我身边时，我觉得我的世界非常的安全，稳定。当你对我微笑时，那微笑就好像在告诉我，一切事情有我在，就这样安慰了累坏的我。当你和我之间刻了一道距离的墙时，我的确觉得很伤心，害怕，但我根本无法对你表达其实我是多么的需要你的支持。






我不停的在告诉自己我们之间根本没什么，更不会有任何的发展下去。因为我只不过是在一厢情愿。可是每当我快要坚硬起来时，你又再让我看到你那灿烂的笑容，再次把我好不容易集合起来的坚决完全只因为一个笑容而溶化成思念!别人对我再怎么好，我都看得到，却感觉不到。我真的很珍惜他们的善意，可是我更在乎的却是你。每个小话题，小关心，或是再简单不过的小动作，我都牢牢的记住。到底这是否是我自尊的问题，不甘心得不到你才放不下吗?还是我对你的感觉已经不停的在加深了?




现在的我根本就分不清到底我应该如何是好。但是就在那一天，我终于明白了之前我没听到的最后一个句子。你说得对，感情事的确是太复杂了,我们之间就take time,直到有一天。 我听了，我真的找不到任何字来形容我当时的感觉。可惜我那时找不到勇气告诉你"我会等到那个"有一天"。"



我答应自己，不会再做任何会让我后悔的决定。所以，在我离开之前，我一定要鼓起勇气告诉你。

Some Malaysian Rojak Shit

jessica... weih char bo.. wa lang test kua lu eh hiao kua bo!hahahah...wa si pek sio lu la! miss lu miss ka ai kih siao liao weih! beh tong la!!! gatai liao! ahhaha =) wa zai lu pun jin jia miss wa le? hoho! wa ba lu jiak pa bo shu zo..chin chai zo siao zeh eh.. wa ah neh kuan sia hokkien kah hor ah bo lain kali mau present ini blog untuk klas tengok .. nanti dia ternampak apa saya tulis depan klas mampui saya! sure i pai seh man!ahahaha... so teman me kap siao a bit la!

Just another day

i started my day with just another chilly day in Swiss. As for the elaboration class , we did absolutely nothing in class as usual. Everyone was really not motivated at all! just waiting to go home ASAP. During lunch break we girls talked a lil bout' this n that. Well our main topic would be bout' M. I get to know that he was waiting at the other side,while im hiding at the other. I felt really sorry for him but yet i really just couldn't spit out those words right at his face coz i just cant get over his innocent n utterly kind face. It makes me felt like he's too fragile for what im bout' to do him. His quite good academically but i just wish he's smart n flexible enough to see all these signs that im avoiding him n he's freaking me out. God bless this child really.... just hope that God gives his the intelligence n grace to see the changes but not hurt his kind heart to much that he'll hate me for it!

Other than that, im glad to hear that mum has already reached home save n sound. Tho' she's still suffering a lil pain n jet lag but she's a tough mum which im proud of.... So she'll handle herself well as always.. I missed her.. =)


love,
Liz

Short updates

Let's start of with...


I confessed to mum about certain thgs which reli makes me feel relief=) Then a week ago,suprisingly 2 guys asked for my number. This week only 3 days of class minus 1 day coz im absent n half day coz the prof was absent this morning! ha! it was great but the sad part was we hv to wake up so early and go to skul to find out ltr that we dont hv class. So, classmates n i went to LUX to hv a lil hot choco and croissant. Relaxing on the sofas until 11am then we girls head to McD for early lunch while the boys head to the salon in he engineering school to have their own prepared meal. The trip to-n-flow from McD was really funny coz we were changing the music from gangsta rap to techno to remix n to rock... n did a lil funky dance in the car was fun.


After that back to school for a boring course by creating n modifying the blog. After school, when i was going to take the bus with the girls, i saw M standing just right there in front of the bus waiting... L n i start to laugh straight away! Hence i just wave a quick HI and then rush my steps into the bus! When we arrive, yet again i fasten my pace with C. C was laughing coz she noticed that i was actually taking another way round back home just to avoid M from being sticky. =P (He's really nice ,gentle and sweet but he's just too nice n sticky till i really feel uncomfortable )

At 5pm , met up wit F in the train station n then headed to DUBLIN for a drink together. It felt a lil intensed and jammed coz he's not the talkactive sort n the new me neither. but at least it ended quite ok i would say and he was nice enough to walk me back home .Yet deep down inside me, i miss *him*.....


Night time, talked to Ann, gossiping, chit chating n etc etc. After i receieved a msg from my choco Jess knowing what happened really worries me till now i still haven't receive any news from her.I really hope that she'ss hang in thr n do well... In the end, at least i get to know a GOOD NEWS! Which is LJ might be coming to Luzern to visit a uni here... !!!!!!!!

Well, that's all for now... toodles! XOXO

曾经的你

This may sound really silly n cheesy in a way but to think back bout what u've done for me n with me hurts a little but it does make me felt something which was really special n a whole new level of experience. Things n feelings i never thought i'd experience or do. The moments were indeed very short but it never fails to bring a bright smile to my face tho' things, i konw will never be the same like they once were anymore. These were the moments that meant most to me...

1. The times that u never ever left me alone.( with a slight cute intention tho' )
2. U always sounded sincere when u talked to me at all times, playing kid's games with me n teasing me around when i couldn't even pronounce the word "bonjour" in the right way.
3. The moment that u sang a children's song to me n asked me to sing along ( haha! u were funny! )
4. Tho' it may not show on my face the word "loneliness", but u were always there for me, ready to help me whenever i'd asked for your help n u never say NO to me.
5. Times when we would walk together everytime to get coffee, hot choco n my all time favourite chocolate bread!
6. Remembering that you would rather sacrifice 1 more hour to catch the train than seeing me waiting all alone for my dad to finish his work.
7. The very first time when i said "i'd love to see u".. u immediately took the next train to my place without any second thought. ( 2 hours to my place back n flow...Oh dear! )
8. Always come out n have a date with me, even if u were totally worned out n dozzy.(haha =P )
9. Would even get 3 kisses from u everyday on the cheek!!!
10. The sweetest moment for me was our last outing together back then ( the very "last lunch" before my heart was crucified ), we were sitting at the edge of the castel, the way u held me close afraid that i would fell off the edge ( guess i do look dumb ), the way u made a deal with me coz i asked u out to accompany me, those warm hands that held mine tightly,hugs n shoulders that brought such security n sweetness to my heart n the image of our shadow on the ground when i was in your arms. It was indulgingly beautiful.

Nevertheless, u were actually the very first guy that my mum adored n loved so much that she trusted u enough to ask u to take good care of me everytime ( even now ==" n i think that's the only thing that haven't change just yet! ) And of coz there are still many sweet moments in mind but all in all u were n will always stay this special in my heart (as a friend) even tho' things did not work out in the end! u were one good mate! No doubt an absolute champ as well for u've broken the record by driving me gaga enough to make my FIRST heartpounding confession! Of coz it included amongst other feelings n things too. Like i've said, u gave me a heartfelt moments of memories that i hv never encountered in my life before. For that u will always be remembered n deeply missed ( haha..sounded like u're dead or sumin! ).

So, for now goodbye n thank u so much, sweetheart. Life goes on but yet im still looking forward to be stuck in the same class with u for the next few years, chinois!

And they say people change

Today was just like an other normal day except it's a very foggy day! Yet that didnt really stop me from doing my things and went out with a girlfriend for drinks at a near by bar. It was really a cozzy n beautiful bar and pretty calm actually. Im starting to like that place now =)



So me and that friend had a little chit chat when we were there, suddenly she laughed so loudly i was shocked n stunt ! ahaha! but that's Lucy the laugh beg anyway! Then after that she told me she's pregnant a baby boy.awwww.. how nice is that !

Then we talked bout everything in ours lifes in swiss n stuff. It was really a nice conversation. Yet strangely i just knew her for 1 year and she actually told me that i've changed so damn much. I was expecting i've changed for the good but it's clear that it's not eventually. She said im all gloomy and seasoned now unlike before was a bubbly person and a sunshine. She was right about that point no doubt!






I remember back then in high school i barely touch my books, chicky in class, hyper active and fun. It was the best highlights in my life so far. Now, the good thing is i focus a lot on my educations but all my fun personalities disappeared into thin air! I do have better patience but i lost my sense of humour, i gained more knowledge in academic but i lost my knowledge of being an outgoing person, i learned another new language but i lost my social skills, i had a chance of a life time to study overseas and yet it cost me much more than i can imagine and being surrounded with loneliness that no words or anyone could possibly understand or describe.



Im not trying to sound emo but the thing is when i look back at the past, sometimes i myself could not have imagine how drastically i've changed only in 1 year time. Few months ago i was trying really hard to resurrect the Lizzie that was once filled with enthusiasm but somehow i just cant seem to reach it. Perhaps going back to Malaysia this summer could help me with that! For now i guess i have to face the fact that i've changed to gloomy and hope that by time things will get better than this !

Here i go again =P

I never thought that i'd be doing this again! Disactivate and now reactivated once more. Thanks to my dar Jessica chocolate somehow coz she's the one reason and person that keeps urging me to do so! So i'll cut it short.

Two days ago, we had a family friends gathering for Easter evening celebration together! It was fun n warm. We all had a great time and it's also the very first time i step out the 1 move and not being the loner at the corner anymore at gatherings which it's totally awesome. I've shared things with my brother n dad which was really cool and i felt very comfortable later on! Me n my eldest brother were arguing bout how a person could get sore throat and playing around with some kung fu moves! It was really adorable. Then, i plan to drop by his place at Lausanne to spend some time together but im pretty much hung up right now coz i'm still waiting the call from Mr.Photographer for certain confirmations about the photo shooting and not forgeting a girl's day out with my girlfriends too! AHHH!!! and unfinished homeworks and projects as well! Aiks...

Choco bunnies from brother n Zi Han!

Talk about photoshooting, it was quite an experience for me. The bizarre part is that the photo shooting is all about the hands only n holding on a microscope( which i think it's for the uni's flyers ). Before that , i received the call from the photographer asking if i could go there after my classes which i did. Im really thankful to Mike for walking and searching the studio with me. Then, we started the session. More than 20 pics were taken with difren angles. Photographer was really a nice man n i was so pleased to learn that he speaks such a good English =) had a little chit chat then im off to catch my half n hour train back home! Reached home, i was totally worn out with sore hands n feets wth blisters! lol... Yet we still have to make the confirmation from the others on tuesday. If it's confirmed then i have to get my ass up to the studio again! So we'll see..
Besides all those stuff, others are pretty much in form and good! School life just as usual like always and i'll be finishing CIFOM in few months time. Dying n looking forward to go back home for some nice and warm summer holidays with my lads, babes n family of coz! So much to do , so many faces to meet but still i think it's so little time for me! kinda sad but im still grateful that i can have 2 n half months coz i dont think that the following year i'll have such long summer hol after i start my first year in Engineering Uni this September.. So i'll just have to make the best of it and spend every single precious minutes with my loved ones!

Just some shots for the day!

Lastly, comes to rship n lovey stuff, ya'll can count me out coz im definately giving up on this man tho' he's one hell of a guy which fits most of my expectation more than anyone i knew could! But the disappointment that he struck me with , just made things crystal clear that it's time to turn away n stop wasting my time on things that'll never progress in the first place! Well it really didnt hurt that bad at all so yeah... everything's pretty cool for now!

The sunny view from my apartment =)

Love the sunny day=) cheers!!