sometimes i dont understand why

sometimes when friend ask me how did u both hanging there. i always answer " we're good as usual". But at times i dont know if i really mean i really mean it or im actually pretending to be strong n tough when the fact is i really really need to have someone right beside me ? looking at friends n their partners together able to do simple thgs like going to dinner together, studying together, hv a walk in a garden together , hving someone to say "everythg's ok, C! im juz right here"when im tired n down n able to kiss gd morning or gdbye. A touch may not mean anything in a relationship but a touch is an essential to keep a relationship sparkle. I just pray to God to melt down all this boundaries soon coz i dunno how much longer i can hang in there until my needs eventually eats up the love i have for u.