my christmas

Today is christmas eve, and all im doing today is sitting and rotting on the sofa in front of a tele.
The fact is, knowing that everyone has a plan to celebrate christmas with their love ones just upset me a lil.
I used to believe in the magic and spirit of Christmas but every Christmas seems to successfully make me pour tears instead.
To have a nice and happy christmas for once would really be nice.
To be with the people that are really close and dear to me, instead of people that i barely know and sitting aside smiling like a dumb ass.
To have a good laughter, instead of faking a smile
To have a a lovely but simple dinner, instead of eating with people u're unfamiliar with.

When he asked me am i ok i wanted to tell him so badly how i really feel, that no im not ok actually!
That i wish to have a merry christmas with people whom i love, whom i know..just like anybody else...

But putting all these emotions aside, im more than happy to have him in my life.
It's the best thing that has ever happened to me throughout my 20 years of life by far.
And today he told me "u know sometimes i reli feel like i wanna do my life with u

but dnt tell anyone.. its a secret"..

This sentence was a wonderful Christmas present to me. Nobody knows wat will change with time, but no matter what, even if this sentence will never come true, it still the best and most comforting sentence as a Christmas gift for me =)

Merry Christmas...

u're my reason, my freedom, my love n my life

*our story is beautifull and our love is true*

*I'l always b with u! u can sleep all night with the thought that u have me tomorow and all the days that follows*

Thank u for these beautiful words, it meant more to me than anyone could possibly  know or imagine.

Tonight i shall shut my eyes and fall into a long deep sleep with the most peaceful heartbeat =)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank u sunshine!

I love u...

 

 

 

signin' out with love,

Miss L.A

u mean the world to me, sunshine

Every relationship has it's ups and downs, i guess mine's no different as well.

Today i learnt how much insecurities i've given sunshine all these times and it pains me to see that im one of the reason why he's unhappy.

I tried to do all i could possibly do but yet i understand how hard it is for someone to change their long-formed opinion and thoughts about certain things. Of coz i also clearly know that being with a girl like me is the biggest and worst challenge of all...

I realized that my habit of bottling things up is not helping me to forget or let go things that i wanna run away from. It's causing more problem recently than ever.. There r so many things in my heart that i wanna tell him so badly n want him to know but for me to spit my feelings out is just as hard for him to accept im close with my guys frens.

i really wanna tell him, i'd wish badly to have a home with him if future allows it and the christmas day he told me he'd gimme me.Maybe when he hears these from me, he'd laugh of my silly thinkings but the point is that i wish he'd put down his doubts and see through me to realize how important he means to me....

but what can i do to let him know ?

signin' out,

LA

La nuit de la fête des vendanges

24th of Sept was officially the first day of the wain festival in the whole swiss french canton also known as La fête des vendanges.

Unfortunately, lex,mimi n I were so drop dead tired and alex was too wasted, while im busy being sick! But still at midnight we were motivated to head to the festival BY FOOT. Took us about 30mins of walk then it took us another 30mins to squeeze thru' the crowds. Then we decided to go back home after 15mins.hahaha!!!

Yet the thg so special about this day wasn't about the festival. It was about when we were walking to the festival, there were a few drunk youngster moving towards us n wouldnt leave us alone. Before they even approach, mimi held my hand so tight and stand right in fronta me like an eagle protecting it's precious.

His reactions were fast yet careful, always ,making sure that im right behind of him. Then the youngsters were asking weird questions and wanting some stupid answers. So mimi gave it to them, then he directly move quickly with me by his side and hands held tight.

I never felt so safe and secure in my life. To know that feeling when someone really stands up for u,would do anything to make sure u're safe.... It was like i immediately know that this is the man, the one i can relay on when im tired, knowing that i dont hv to pretend to be strong nor that he will never run away ASAP even when im in shit!

That is the kinda man i wan to have a future with, for that la fête des vendanges proves that my  man is definately the Right Man!

signin' out with love,

lizzie anne

Let the sun shine =)

For once in my life, i understand how does it feel to be free and filled with the sweetest happiness deep down inside.When i said free, this freedom is undescribable. Having to find that person that is capable to fill your heart with that very comfort, security and love with a single touch, knowing deep down that u can shut your eyes and have a deep quiet sleep on his shoulders after all these years of struggles, that's what i call a FREEDOM to feel free and calm.

From his love, he made me realise a girl like me doesn't have to be alone, doesn't have to be cold, and doesn't have to face problems alone with a forced smile anymore. For once, i felt free to feel, to be angry, to frust, to smile and to laugh! Just to be myself and stop being afraid of every single step im taking.

At times, things got a lil steamed up between us due to certain jealousy issues, it's neither his fault nor mine. It's just ddifferent ppl , different mind, but the patience to tolerate, to swallow the pride and take a step back that he has shown through these times leads me speechless. He deserves most of my respect for that. I understand that sometimes he's doubting, scared and i just couldn't find the right words to tell him not to worry. It felt like there's so much things i wanna tell him, but the words just couldn't come out in the right way.

All i wanna tell him is that it's his hands i wan to hold onto me, not letting me go;his arms to wrap around me,comforting me; his shoulder for me to lie on when im in joy or crushed; his eyes to look at me,letting me know that he's there no matter what; his face to be the first and last wonderful thing to look at everyday; his tender lips gently touching agaisnt mine;his calm heartbeat as the most beautiful melody for me to listen to; and of coz that amazing smile he has to shine my day and be my encouragement!

Throughout all these years of damages that i've done, he's the only right and utterly beautiful thing that has ever happen to me. For he's the one who brought back my confidence, healed that scar after such a long time, brighten up the smile that i never thought i'd have and drew the most lovely fairy tale in my life =)

struck out friday night

Last friday night was epic!

Started off with a few beers with uncle,bro,a mate n sugar.

After that the fun begins went i met up some other crazy mates as well!

The fun then steamed up when we bumped into Mimi's fren Arturo, Morgan n etc.

From midnight till 3am, the DJ's dropping it hot, some chickas dancing on the top, some fights occured, drunken ass all over and we were busy getting wasted and dancing our ass off!

 

All in all, the night was fantastic n i had fun till d max with my sugar <3



signin' out with loads of love,

LA

Thank u for everythg sunshine

After so many years of hardwork and endurings, i finally get to have my own short holiday during the weekend. I also got my jacket, new Ipod, Headphones and etc. XD

Yet the best part of all was that i get to spend n have an utterly great time with the man i love more than my life, my Mimi.

Thx to Mimi, he fulfilled my long waited wish: 

I dnt need gifts or stuff, just wanna be the happiest girl in the most simplest ways on my special day.

And thank you so much Mimi, for the efforts and tiredness all the way thru.

Thank you for your patience, love and tolerance to me and everything that i've made u put thru.

Thank you for being there to hold me in close when  i needed comfort the most.

Thank you for never letting me go and being there when im wrapped up with problems and troubles.

Thank you for choosing to love and stay with me

Thank you for standing right beside me and reminding me that im not alone anymore.

Thank you for walking this path with me.

Thank you for all the sacrifices you've made for me and the appreciation you've shown.

Thank you for carving the most beautiful bright smile on my darkest days.

Thank you for bringing out the best of me and the willingness of you to be a big part of my complicated life.

A million "thank you" isn't enough to express how grateful i felt and how much i appreciate you. No matter how tired and hard things was, you always do your best for me by being with me in the shortest time possible. Not only in schoolwork problems, friend problems but also family problems that's surrounding me all the time . Yet you never complain anything at all and keep smilling to me, telling all will be all right, dont worry =)

After so many years, you are the first one to fulfilled my biggest yet simplest dream of all. 

Thank you.

This time it's my turn to tell you not to worry. This time im not going anywhere and im always standing a step behind of you, supporting you the whole way thru.

Because only with you and you alone, everything's at it's most simple but also at it's most beauty.

Having you in my life, you've became the reason im beautiful and happy.

Found you in my life, you've became the reason why i look forward to the future.

Thank you, my love, my life, my heart.

Lizzie Anne