Im too tired to sleep now

been working non stop recently for a month now. Eventually the school has become more of my house now. i spend most of my time stucked there n the only time i spend at home is during bedtimes. Life in the first year can be describe as horribly busy that i can barely have a life or a pause button. Sometimes i just feel like collapsing right away or fall into a deep sleep. Go to bed at 4am and wake up at 7am everyday is the worst feeling ever n i can barely feel anythg at all... Im just looking forward to the holidays soon. 1 paper burning in Hell, 3 more to go still...

Yes Im Cold Hearted!

hate d word watever, dislike d way u make me feel disrespected at times n yet shit alwys happen! being far is alrdy a fucked up situation n now shit adds in.arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sigh* God u shud hv made me a  creature with no heart n of metal. 

first time

lan li.. recently been staying back at school from 8am till 7pm.. including weekends! si pek kut lat.. looking back from who i was last time n who i am right now is such a drastic change! feel sorta porud with myself now =P

it's all about love

Today didnt reli start off well due to stomachache, eventually i have to be absent for my math test today. So as i was sitting on the sofa with my lappy on my sofa, i've read about a young boy back in KL commited suicide recently for his beloved girlfriend. He said that he loved her so much even till the moment of his death, left a note n then jump of a 10++ floor building when it strucked midnight. Being only 4 months with a girl who treats him cold really beats all the efforts and loves that his family have had for him in all their lives. The boy is so bewitched by his stupidity that he actually forgot to just stop for a moment and give things a rational thought. Life was never suppose to be easy nor a fairy tale.Relationship wasnt never meant to go smoothly like the cream of the crops. Pain was meant to be bare and faced.. Sadly that's life. but to die coz of a break up? Seriously not cool! n a utterly rubbish way to die. So many people are begging and desperately struggling hard just to survive a day through while this dumb ass waste not only the efforts of his family, his future, n also a precious life that those childrens n people out there would kill to have. Rather to know such physco  in the future, i'd rather be singled out really. I may sound cold blooded mb that's bcoz i dont have what people would usually call a real life relationship.. I dont know how it really feels like to have an open rship  where u could do whatever u want nor what to hope n expect in my relationship. But i do know one thing family comes first, count your breathe as a blessing and never put ur all in a relationship (especially when u dont see any future in it) .

Yet still, may u rest in peace,mate!


liz

tiring but awesome

Finally it's weekend! OMG, finally we're able to breathe some non stress air for 2 weeks! It was a huge relief after finishing our chemistry Test tho im not very sure what the hell was i doing but at least i finish everything n i do hope i couldd surf through with sufficient marks really. Today was a flat battery day for me coz i havent been having enough sleep but on the other hand it was a fun day, classmates n i had loads of laugh and fun during chemistry laboratory. Getting to know each n everyone even more really makes me happy in a way. It finally feels like im in the social zone now. Somehow makes me feel that im not that alien anymore n feeling a tiny bit less lonely C= i hope everyday will be just as pleasant as today!

我的幸福?

有时候我在想到底是我想太多?我要求是不是太多?我只不过想要个简单的恋爱而已但


每一次当我找到了好的对象时，一切的简单仿佛觉得超遥远的。所谓生活还真的是

满艰难。我真的好害怕，我一时的需要会让我再次的对别人动心。我该怎么做才可

拥有我的幸福?

sometimes i dont understand why

sometimes when friend ask me how did u both hanging there. i always answer " we're good as usual". But at times i dont know if i really mean i really mean it or im actually pretending to be strong n tough when the fact is i really really need to have someone right beside me ? looking at friends n their partners together able to do simple thgs like going to dinner together, studying together, hv a walk in a garden together , hving someone to say "everythg's ok, C! im juz right here"when im tired n down n able to kiss gd morning or gdbye. A touch may not mean anything in a relationship but a touch is an essential to keep a relationship sparkle. I just pray to God to melt down all this boundaries soon coz i dunno how much longer i can hang in there until my needs eventually eats up the love i have for u.